3 Steps Toward Self Love

Guest article from adventuringkelsey.com

We are living in a time where so many expectations are being put on us based on what society projects onto us. We feel that we’re supposed to be married by a certain time, start a family, all while making sure we’re climbing the ladder in our careers. This can be a lot on its own, but then add in the limiting beliefs, doubts, and negative self talk we place onto ourselves, and we really start to lose that love for ourselves.

One thing I want to start by mentioning, is that you DO NOT have to fall prey to what society is expecting of you. You get the opportunity to live life every day on YOUR terms. It all boils down to how much you love yourself, which I know can be complicated when you’re doing your best to please those around you. 


But you are so incredibly worthy of loving yourself, and what’s beautiful about self love is that once you are able to embody it, you can then scatter that love into EVERYTHING you do. Your relationships, your families, your careers… and those people in your life that you’re so worried about letting down will recognize that power you are now exuding. And they are going to be so proud of you, and you’ll be able to feed into them EVEN more!


So how do we work our way toward achieving ultimate self love?


  1. Forgive and Let Go


Each and every one of us are human beings. We are not perfect, nor were we made to be so. We make mistakes. We choose the wrong path. We stay in a relationship much longer than we should. We allow others to tear us down. IT HAPPENS. When it comes to fully loving ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we’ve made and we need to let go. This is difficult, and it’s going to take a lot of inner work on your part, but in the end it will be so worth it. You can start the forgiveness process by…

  • Writing about the mistake that you continue to revisit. You know the one. That one where every time you’re starting to feel good about yourself it pops up in your mind and says “Hey remember when….” Write it out. What happened? Yes this will be painful, but this is what you need to do to heal.
  • Now journal out a statement to yourself forgiving yourself for what happened. Please just write out whatever you feel called to. I will provide an example solely so you can get an idea of what I mean, by no means should you write this out word for word. This needs to be a forgiveness statement coming from YOU based on your specific situation. Here’s an example: Kelsey, I forgive you for staying in that toxic relationship longer than you should have. There was a lesson in the chaos for you. You are a better, more loving person in your relationships now because of it. You will go into the future knowing what relationships serve you and which ones don’t and allow yourself to walk away from the ones no longer serving you. I forgive you.
  • Write out the lesson that was learned from the mistake, and how you can use that lesson to grow and become a better version of you in the future!


  1. Affirmations and Positivity


I highly suggest starting every day with a gratitude and journaling practice that includes affirmations. An affirmation is a statement that encourages you. The more you focus on the good in your life and the good you have to offer, the more you will recognize your value, thus finding more self love. This is a simple process that results in massive change when you stay consistent. Changing our mindset and the self talk we project on ourselves daily will create a huge shift in our self worth.


If you are new to journaling or need support in the process, you can pick up my free guide Journal Prompts to Elevate Your Life here!


  1. Commit to Yourself


You are so incredibly worthy. When it comes to finding self love, you need to be ready to commit to yourself! Commit to working through forgiveness, commit to the journal practice, commit to shifting your thoughts. As I said earlier, this isn’t going to be easy work, but it will be worth it! Some different suggestions for commiting are as follows:

  • Schedule it into your calendar.
  • Set reminders in your phone.
  • Find an accountability partner. Ask this person to check in with you regularly to see how you’re doing in this process. Maybe they’ll even want to join you!
  • Celebrate yourself regularly. Big or small. Just set that reminder in your phone to journal? Great! Celebrate it!
  • Write out a “Why” statement. What is your reasoning behind wanting to love yourself more? Revisit this when you’re lacking motivation. (You’ll also find space for a why statement in my free journal guide.)


Let’s get to loving ourselves, because we all deserve it!

Kelsey Graffis

The Gal Behind AdventuringKelsey



Loves collaborating with other exciting women!